i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize