He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
