Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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