SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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