I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
