Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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