I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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