We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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