A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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