Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize