I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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