Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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