I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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