Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just pee around me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
