Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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