I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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