guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
