Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize