i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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