Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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