did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
