I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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