That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
