the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize