Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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