i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize