i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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