Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
