I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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