That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize