I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
