I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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