Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
