I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
