Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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