yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
