just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
