One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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