I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize