Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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