I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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