Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
