I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize