Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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