Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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