Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
