i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
