He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
