just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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