i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
