This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
