i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
