Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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