True but thats because hes a fetus.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
