naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
